From now, through the weekend,
They’re selling zombies downtown,
Claiming it’s a pre-fire sale,
Before they burn them all.
I say good riddance, indeed.
Never met a single one
I cared to share a meal with.
I’m sure they’re the salt of the earth—
Somewhere on another planet.
See, I’m more of a pepper guy.
So, yeah, we don’t mix well.

Now my wife’s a different story.
She’s finds them fascinating.
Claims she’d adopt one or two,
If I so much as let her.
But she already believes in ghosts,
Tortured souls, ghouls, voodoo,
And every form of black magic.
Believe me, I sleep each night
With one eye open.

Still, perhaps, there’s money in this,
Should I purchase a half dozen—
For novelty’s sake, nothing more.
My wife would be pleased,
I could gain a tax write-off,
And the creepy neighbors I despise,
Would finally leave me alone.